What Was I Thinking?

Yesterday was a fun day. My mom and I took Kori to tour Wallace State Community College in Hanceville. We went with an open mind, but we were trying hard to convince each other that this would be a good school for her. When we got there, the school sold itself. They have a beautiful campus, great dorm rooms, several athletic teams, a choir and show choir (which Kori loves being a part of in HS), and they have very friendly people who know how to show southern hospitality. We absolutely loved it.

We looked at dorm rooms while we were there and started making all kinds of plans for her. We talked about all the stuff she needed and how she could decorate her room, and which route was the safest route to take home. We laughed and planned her meals and even talked about stocking up on supplies (like shampoo, she uses a lot of shampoo) for next year. We even discussed getting her a checking account and how we could handle all of her financial issues.

So.....this morning I woke up and thought to myself .....
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?! You can not take your baby 1.5 hours away from home. She needs to stay home. I hear that you can take on line college courses now. I see advertisements all the time. I am going to sign her up for one of those. I mean..think about it...what if she needs me.? Yesterday I told her "you will only be an hour away". Today I am saying "SHE WILL BE AN HOUR AWAY". I can't have that. So much could happen. What if she forgets to set her clock, or doesn't hear it when it goes off. That happens all the time now. Who will wake her up? What if she spends all her money on clothes or jeans and needs gas money, I can't ride up there and give her $20 dollars to last her till pay day, like I do now. Or, for goodness sake, what if she runs out of shampoo!!!!!!!!! She likes her good smelling, expensive, shampoo. Oh yea.. and who is going to buy those pesty female products for her.....she sure isn't!!! She needs me, and I am home. She can't leave and I can't go with her...so it looks like on line courses for her.

Or...... is it me that needs her. I mean... she helps me with Will, a lot. Helping family is important. She also takes my clothes out of the dryer for me, I don't mind that they fall all around my bed instead of on it, I just pick 'em up. Oh yea, and she loads the dishwasher sometimes for me, that helps me out a lot too. It is not that big of a deal that I have to ask her 3-4 times. And..... who will I ask "do these shoes look stupid with this dress"? And who will say "Mom, it is time for more color on your hair"? Kori that is who, she is staying put.

I think the real question for me is...who will I watch America's Next Top Model with? Or who will make sure the boys don't take advantage of me, or who will I eat pasta with, or who will scratch my arm or rub my shoulders? Who will I laugh with about how weird all these boys are at our house? You see.... Make no mistake, I am Kori's mother first and foremost, but somewhere in the last 17 years, she also became my friend. I trust her with my heart, more than I trust most of my friends. I honestly enjoy her company very much.

I think the real issue here is me. She told me yesterday she was sort of afraid to leave home. I told her we go through different seasons in our life and this was going to be a new season for her. A new chance to grow and learn and she should embrace it. Soon, there would be a new season with different opportunities for growth. I think I am going to take my own advice.

So what was I thinking yesterday? I was thinking how God has a plan for her life, and it is not to harm her(or me). I need to encourage her in that plan, and I will. Guess I am just having a brief moment of mommydontwanttoletherkidleavehomeitous.

God only gives us a few seasons with our kids. You should enjoy the season you are in now, before it changes. Because...it will change. Well...I have to go.
I need to make sure Will knows that going away to college is over rated and he should really look into on line courses! I need to get to him while he is still impressionable. JUST KIDDING! I am going to stock up on shampoo, she is going to need it! And, I guess I should pick up some kleenex too. I am going to need them.