Resolving Conflicts

Resolving conflicts. Sounds like a topic that someone would only write about after doing countless hours of research. And I have. I have read a lot of Internet articles, excerpts from books authored by scholars who "know what they are talking about".
However, they all seem to say the same thing.

One article I read summed it up. The author said that there are 7 easy steps to resolving personal conflict with your brother or sister. I would like to share them with you now.

1. If there is conflict
2. You
3. Go
4. To the person
5. In private
6. And discuss the problem
7. For the purpose of reconciliation

I love it!!! The author is trying to tell us to not make it more complicated than it is.
We think solving conflict is hard. But, Matthew 18:15 explains it so simply.
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him ALONE!

Why in the round world do we think we must involve everyone in our conflict?
I am so guilty of this. If someone hurts my feelings or angers me, I immediately go to a good friend, or my husband, or a mentor to "tell on them". If I am honest, the only reason I tell these people about the issue, is so they will feel sorry for me, or be on my side. God has taught
me this week, this is wrong.

What good comes from sharing others sins? None. If you tell me that "Sister-talks-a-lot"
has hurt your feelings again, what am I going to think about her? I will not look at her the same way, and she has done nothing to me. I keep hearing saints say, "She has hurt my feelings again, something has to be done about her". You got that right! Something needs to be done. She needs restoration. The kind of restoration that can only be done with love. Love covers a multitude of sins. But...the resolution needs to be between the two parties involved. Everyone does not need to be involved unless the "feeling-hurter" rejects the one hurt. Then, Matthew tells us to take one or two more to this person to see if this person will then hear. If that doesn't work we take it before the church.

It seems in our resolution process, we skip the first step. And we are praying, during the conflict, that God will resolve everything. We ask Him to work it out and to restore fellowship, but we don't want to do it HIS way. The right way. The only way. Why do we expect Him to bless our efforts?

This has been a hard lesson for me to swallow this week. I love to talk. I love to tell stories.
And, the more embellished they are the better. My love and pursuit of righteousness has to be greater than my love for talk. Because my "talk" turns into gossip and gossip is, simply put, sin.
I can paint it any color I want, but it is still sin. It keeps me from having a right relationship with my heavenly Father. I can't afford to be out of fellowship with the one who continues to deliver me.

Resolve your conflicts with others today, the right way!